It’s over.
We are beaten men.
We fought and argued for roughly seven whopping months about a negligible amount of psi missing from a football. That’s seven months that, thankfully, can be put behind us. Whether we like it or not, it’s over. The best quarterback currently playing in the NFL is a dirty, lying cheater. It’s time to own up to it.
And it’s time to have some fun with it.
Oh yeah, that we I was talking about? I am obviously talking about both Tom Brady and people like me, his supporters. I admit it, I am a homer, even though I hate that term. I am not a Simpsons character, although that Homer has a better body that I truly envy. I also envy the body of Tom Brady, and I think its time to drop the appeal and let that body rest for 4 weeks.
It’s a battle he already lost and can’t come back to win. The challenge flag was thrown, truck advertisements were shown, the call was upheld, and the NFL moved on to the next play. They never revisit, even when they blow it. This time was no exception.
Who cares that evidence is seemingly on his side? Who cares that, according to NBC, he apparently offered to find the text messages from the supposedly destroyed phone and show them and the NFL refused? The NFL along with the judges and juries of the American public, which include people who cannot read or write as well as fans of the other 31 teams that he has been beating for over a decade, have already found him guilty.
Lawyers cost money, Tom. Go on vacation.
In fact, take 4 of em. Those 4 games in which he is suspended just so happen to correspond with the number of rings that he has. Rings that can’t be taken away. He won his first in New Orleans, which I hear is beautiful in early September. Why not pay a visit? It’s been awhile since they have seen a champion. Besides they are too busy setting bounties and doing molly. He won other rings in Houston and Jacksonville, cities that won’t see a Lombardi trophy for roughly 489 years. Why not take that gorgeous wife of yours and go show these poor bastards what a real champion looks like?
Just remember, we are not arguing whether or not the air level in the ball truly matters anymore. If leading the biggest 4th quarter comeback in Super Bowl history AFTER being accused of this “cheating” (do you really think that ball was altered? do you?), doesn’t win people to your side, nothing ever will.
So go on, take a 5 week vacation that does nothing but help your body and your team. You earned it. And hey, take some pictures, too.
Preferably holding some trophies high and middle fingers up.
