goals - part 1

Okay so when I made this blog, I said I would promptly forget about it. This I did. I am a man of my word.

I know this is not a good thing, so here I am again. So I figured I would rejoin the bloggy world by telling everyone some of the goals I set myself in life. I will do one at a time. I don't usually tell these things, but now is a special occasion, so here goes goal #1.....


.....and it is.....


.....wait for it.....


.....I want to give somebody the People's Elbow.



Yep. I do. In public, too.



While I am sure you agree that this is a noble goal for a young man to set for himself, it unfortunately is rather difficult. There are a few obstacles I must deal with, such as.....

1) I would need some sort of pad on my elbow that I can easily remove and throw at someone without thinking about it. I must also not care that said pad is gone, therefore it should not be expensive. Also, I do not need an elbow pad for, well, anything right now, so it cannot be one of those big fat Barry Bonds elbow pads. Perhaps a trip to Dick's is in the cards. Hopefully they have a People's Elbow section in there.

2) This would obviously have to be impromptu, as I am not a douchebag. It cannot be staged. However, it might be rather tough to find someone that has been laying on the ground for a minute and isn't going anywhere. If they see that a People's Elbow is on the way, they might, you know, get up. We can't have that. So hopefully I will run into a stroke victim or something or maybe witness a car accident of some sort. Neither of those are ideal (obviously) but hey, goals are goals. Best case scenario, one of my buddies passes out from drinking too much. Which leads us to number 3.....

3) Seeing as though most places I go to do not have ropes like a wrestling ring does, I would need something to bounce off of. Friends will do, but they might not always be available, as they might be getting a beer or taking a piss or something. I have yet to come up with any sort of solution to this one.

So as you can see, the Elbow gods would have to help me out a little here. I would need a whole hell of a lot of luck to pull this one off. But don't you worry my friends (all 2 of you that will read this), I am determined. I will not let you down.

If you smell what I'm cookin.